Addison Todd
…i don’t know what i’m talking about…

Jun
12.

God has been speaking to me lately about a lot of different things. Most importantly; my fleshly futility. There is nothing in my abilities without Him. I’ve tried. Bargained. Reckoned. Fallen. Tried again. Nothing works. Nothing I can do is worth anything toward my “goals.”

 
I have felt many times this past year that I’ve tried everything in a given situation. Maybe I have. But that is not what the Scripture’s teach. This is not the Christianity that I believe. God has recently and very abruptly shown me that it is “…not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of hosts. ” (Zech 4:6) He has taken my ambitions regarding things and desecrated them to the point that only He can move. This hurts, and is humbling, yet relieving, and refreshing.

 
God, I need You.

“…I’m here again
A thousand miles away from You
A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am
I tried so hard
Thought I could do this on my own
I’ve lost so much along the way…”

RED – “Pieces”

The song that the quote is from is available for listening in My Music in the navigation bar.

  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Share/Bookmark

Jan
20.
Comments Off
Category: Uncategorized, Writings

Now is a very confusing time for me. I don’t know where I am. Or what I’m supposed to be doing. I know that in my ear is encouragement, Truth, and The Word. These I hold to; for there’s nothing else that matters. Recently, I was informed that the Greek word, or one of them, (it’s irrelevant) is literally translated more towards belief. Not an “if” mindset, but a “when” one. This means a lot to me where I am. I am told of hope, and to “hope” for the moving of The Father in a given area of my life. But, it would seem, this is not a false and empty sense of I really want something to happen; but rather the heart belief that it will happen. Granted, my will is not the Father’s. But what I do know, is that The Father is working. Not in my time frame, and to my goals upon this earth, but for His ultimate Glory. What a blessing and privilege to be a part of that plan; however I happen to be involved.

Now, I want You, Father. Nothing else matters. My ideas of where to go and what to do have long since failed. My belief is in You, and Your ability to work in the people and events in my life for Your Holy Purpose. Help me to see this as my purpose; and not my ideas. I love You, Jesus.

“….Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I’m waiting
I will serve You
While I’m waiting
I will worship
While I’m waiting
I will not faint
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait…”

  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Share/Bookmark

Aug
21.

Once upon a time, love was beauty.
Once upon a time, love was happiness.
Once upon a time, I thought I was wrong.
Once upon a time, I was proved right.
Love is beauty.
Love is happiness.
Human happiness, and sensual beauty are fading and passing.
Deep happiness and a beauty in one’s life is forever.
The beauty is found in the choice to love, the happiness in the result of the choice.
Love is forever.
Regardless of whether or not one “achieves” anything, love is immovable and rigid.
Whatever one does or does not will not change the nature of love itself.
Love becomes true only when it becomes a choice, and is outright unexplainable.

  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Share/Bookmark

In our lives sometimes, it’s hard to define what we’re really striving for other than our human achievements. School, work, promotions, and relationships are really all human elements to life. Certainly God does bless us with these, and our abilities with which we achieve such goals and ambitions. He no doubt uses these in our lives and others to achieve His purpose on earth; His pure glorification.

However, I’ve been thinking about this lately; why would God care about the things we care about? If one were to list his highest priorities in life, and pit them against God’s priorities for the universe, I wonder how often we’d line up? Goals and priorities can surely be God given, and inspired of Him to reach his purpose for our lives. But what good is a job, unless we work as unto Him? What good is a place to live unless we’re living for Him? What good is a relationship unless we love with the true love of the Father? Why would God allow these things?

In His word, God tells us “delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart”. (Psalm 37:4) So it can no doubt be assumed that some of our human desires it falls within God’s plan to satisfy within us. His desire not only revolves around His ultimate glorification, but it also involves granting our desires. But only when we “…delight yourself in the Lord…” will he do this.

Dictionary.com’s definition of “delight” as a verb:

–verb (used with object)
3.to give great pleasure, satisfaction, or enjoyment to; please highly: The show delighted everyone.
–verb (used without object)
4.to have great pleasure; take pleasure (fol. by in or an infinitive): She delights in going for long walks in the country.
from dictionary.com

So there’s really two aspects to this idea of “…delight yourself in the Lord…”. The first one involves “giving pleasure, satisfaction, or enjoyment to”; or to “please highly”. God has certainly created us to give Glory to Him or rather to “please” Him. But the second definition applies more perhaps. As the verse says “…delight yourself in the Lord…”. We can draw that this means to be delighted IN Him. Which, by definition means to “have great pleasure” or “take pleasure”. How can we take pleasure in our Lord? What does this mean?

Going back to the first paragraph about our human desires, it would seem that while God does intend to grant them for His glory, our focus need not be on such, but on delighting ourselves in Him. As the scripture says in Mathew 6; “31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you”. So while we do have desires, our “heavenly Father knows that you need them all” but in spite of that knowledge, we should “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you”. So when we seek GOD and DELIGHT in Him, only then will our desires be added to us.

In conclusion then, there is no point to worrying over our human needs, or our desires. God knows them, and intends to grant them as we seek Him. What a relief this is. So why is this article titled “onward”? I believe this truth explained here to be essential to serving God. We cannot move “onward” while being concerned with our needs and desires. God knows this. He rather plans to bless along the way as we seek first HIS Kingdom. I tend to find myself more concerned with my desires as opposed to delighting myself in Him, which is the only way that God will be able to grant anything I want. My purpose is to serve Him; until the end of time, amen!

Thanks for listening,
Addison

  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Share/Bookmark

Jun
17.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the concept of standing. Dictionary.com defines “stand” in a few ways. For this article, I chose to reference the 4th, 5th, and 6th definitions.

4. to stop or remain motionless or steady on the feet.
5. to take a position or place as indicated: to stand aside.
6. to remain firm or steadfast, as in a cause.

from dictionary.com

Interesting. Take a look at the song “Stand” by Rascal Flats.

Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you’re made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you’ve had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand, Then you stand

from azlyrics.com

That’s a good song. I enjoy it a lot. It’s interesting to note the implication that life’s problems are solved by standing. This might be true, and many of our difficulties perhaps stem from a lack of backbone. But on our own human power, “standing” will achieve nothing. Standing will be a temporary fix. A momentary climb up the mountain; only to slide back down again when “standing” becomes old and tiresome. I find that standing of my own willpower, which is very strong, leads to success. But such success is temporary. I ALWAYS fall back into the same behaviors, habits, and patterns. The process is mentally stressful. The “stand” is strove for once again. The the sweet taste of success fills my mental state. My step is lighter, my mood uplifted; and “victory” is mine. But then I fall once again. It usually takes longer. Each time I “stand” my victory is a bit longer lasting. I grow more “guts” each time. But I don’t want to grow guts. I want to be truly, lastingly FREE. Whatever sin or behavior ensnares me I want taken for good, never to return again. I want to not only be free consciously, but I no longer want the “fear” of sliding back to beset me. Where can this be found?

A few months ago at church I was introduced to the song “The Stand”. I’m not sure who wrote it, but Hillsong United does a decent rendition of it that you can listen to in “my music” at the top of the sidebar to the right. The main chorus is quoted below.

So I’ll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all

So I’ll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours

from letssingit.com

This is what I long for. We as Christians and as humans cannot achieve anything on our own. We in ourselves are nothing but simple masses of molecules strung together by basic reproduction, bouncing off one another in a sin-filled world. Only when we look upward and STAND with hearts abandoned, and our souls surrendered do we move forward.

“Standing” doesn’t come from “guts”, and it isn’t “bold”. It comes from a soul surrendered to the Almighty King, and a recognition that we cannot “stand” against anything, or for anything without Him.

In my next post, I’ll hopefully dive into the Bible, and define this “soul surrendered” some. I hope. Until then, give that song a listen. Uh, the Hillsong one; not the Rascal Flats one. ;-)

I hope you have a good day,
Addison

  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Share/Bookmark

Well. There you have it. That’s what I have so far. It’s shabby, half-written, without any known intention to finish it. I stopped writing because I came to a point and I don’t know where to turn with the story. Too often is that the case with my ideas. I have the end of the story, and the start, but that’s it. The end is this; the Chrachonians end up building their massive teleportation device, and the first planet they travel to is earth. The device works, but with a glitch. After traveling through the device, their heads are hideously disfigured. Read: ugly. So, on earth they do one of two things, 1) they go around eating the heads off of humans thinking that’ll fix their own heads, or 2) they retreat in silence to Chrachonia never to venture out of their galaxy again out of embarrasment. So there you have it. Any thoughts would be welcomed. Props to Tolkienist for posting such extensive comments on Chapter 1. Thanks man. :)

  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Share/Bookmark

Chapter 2 (High Council)
In High Council, all routine attendees are seated behind large, ornate desks that look up to the platform, where the actual Council is seated at a half circle table at the center of which is seated the Kodem, who facilitates the proceedings. The High Council is broadcast all over the planet so that nothing is decided without 100% knowledge of the people. All the routine attendees rise in unison with their leader who announces, “I will now the address High Council of Chrachonia”. The members and the High Council in unified response shout, “Kodem Haman now speaks!” Haman raises his hand and the routine attendees and the High Council are seared. Haman begins. “People of Chrachonia, High Council of Chrachonia, I come before you with a plan for Chrachonia. To long our people have been suffering from laziness and boredom. To long they have spend their days doing mindless tasks that were created to occupy them. The vast Chrachonian knowledge of the universe and its intricacies is put to waste of by this drab lifestyle. Our people are brilliant and they have the knowledge of the universe, each one of them. They were given the gift of all knowledge and intelligence many years ago, as well all know. It must not be squandered by this generation.” The Council and the routine attendees murmur their agreement. Haman continues “As you know, there are other worlds and galaxies in our universe and the gods only know if there are other universes. It is time to enlighten the entire universe with Chrachonian knowledge. To long have Chrachonians done nothing to bestow intelligence to the other worlds. In this, Chrachonians have damned the universe to stupidity in our unwillingness to share this great knowledge.” Rafan, the oldest member to hold a seat on the High Council speaks. “Kodem Haman is right! What legacy do we leave our children? The legacy of a cruel society? Our first generation fathers swore an oath never to oppress a society by the cruelty of an authoritarian government that we have not violated in 200,000 years of Chrachonian greatness. We have learned of amazing things in that time. We have built amazing things in that time. But now, at the end of all knowledge and intelligence while it is in every Chrachonian man, woman and child’s own mind, will we curse our father’s oath, and even the universe itself as a result of not imparting this great gift to the known universe? Well!?!?!” “No,” the crowd shouts in disapproval. Quietly at first, then louder and bolder the crowd beckons as the High Council looks on. “What shall we do?” “We have all intelligence, what is left to do?” As the volume in the great hall elevates, Haman raises his hand slowly, silencing all pleas. “The High Council ahs pondered this question for years now. We have reached the conclusion that Chrachonia must act. Chrachonia shall begin the construction of a teleportation portal.” At this announcement, the crowd begins to vibrate disgust. “We already have teleportation all over our world, why build more?” Kodem Haman quickly answers. “Yes, single teleports that transfer from one end of the planet to the other. However, we plan to design a teleportation system so advanced, it would allow us to send great quantities of our society to distances far, far away. This portal will also be able to port us to different dimensions of time as well. As a result, Chrachonians will occupy uninhabited worlds, and inhabited worlds will be given the everlasting gift of all knowledge and intelligence, as we Chrachonians know it. We Chrachonians will rise as the saviors of the universe!” The thundering applause and shouting of the Chrachonians shakes the assembly. At this point, all of Chrachonia is engulfed in shouting and applause. The High Council has spent some time conducting research into the teleportation project. Over the next several years, the data is taught to all of Chrachonia as they prepare to undergo the construction of the device.

  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Share/Bookmark

Foreword
The story of Chrachonia is a long one. It is one that is sad, happy, and has many characters. It was asked of me to tell it, hence, it is being put into print for the first time that I know of. It is the story of a planet that is far away, in another galaxy even. That planet is Chrachonia (Kra – Sho – Ney – Uh). To properly understand the story of the Chrachonians, one must have a brief introduction of their culture and the main characters in this story. Hence, chapter 1.
Chapter 1 (Chrachonia)
The planet of Chrachonia is far away in another galaxy. Here is a brief overview of it’s history. It has been in existence far before earth’s mere six thousand years. And, by any intelligent man’s estimation, it will be in existence far longer than earth could ever exist. The start of Crachonia differs depending on which story you hear, but the main facts are the same. Chrachonia once only consisted of four individuals. They were the sole survivors of a catastrophic event on another planet. What planet and what events are different based on who tells the story. There were two women, and two men. They crash-landed on the Chrachonia, that, at that time, was abundant in plant and animal life, but there was no intelligent life on the planet. They recognized the planet’s unprecedented ability to sustain life. They decided to make their homes there, and start the world of Chrachonia. They did this by consulting their gods, and swearing an oath to one another. They swore that neither they, nor their descendents would ever allow an authoritarian form of government. For a thousand years, they labored to build the ultimate society. After a thousand years, the gods saw the good that the Chrachonians had done, they decided to do something they had never done for any other planet. They imparted to them all knowledge and intelligence. The Chrachonians were now the most advanced civilization to ever have lived. They were still primitive, but they had the means to do almost anything. For another twenty five hundred years, the Chrachonians united and accomplished such great works in all areas. Architecture, literature, science, technology, religion, and even arts and media were all conquered to the height of their ability, which was the pinnacle of all intelligence. The things they accomplished cannot be written here for they could not be explained, neither would there be room if they could. The Chrachonian government is vastly different than any you or I have ever known. It is not absolute, as a result of the oath, but there is one man who holds a central position. He is known as the Kodem. He acts as a chairman of the High Council, which decides all major decisions. The public has a two-thirds deciding vote for who sits on the High Council, and all may attend the high Council meetings. The Chrachonian military is of a singular peculiarity. Many years ago, it was discovered the Chrachonia is the only planet in the universe that is home to the Groken. (Gra – kin) The Groken is a peculiar animal to say the least. I shall do my best to describe them in sufficient detail here. They have the skin of an elephant, but differ from the elephant in weight. The Elephant is very heavy, while these beasts are very light. It has an eagle-shaped head with a beak to match, and wings like a hawk. It is very agile, can fly very fast, and is able to carry many times it’s own weight. For these reasons, as well as it’s ability to go months without eating, make it the single most valuable resource to the Chrachonians. Their military uses them almost exclusively for locomotion, and the civilians use them as well. They are abundant on Chrachonia; however, no one knows why Chrachonia is their only home in the universe.
The royal family, at the time of our story consists of three members. The current Kodem, Haman, and his wife, Kesorates, (kes – or – ot – tees) and their daughter, Kianna. Haman is the only Kodem in Chrachonian history to be elected unanimously. As a result, he has been the most benevolent and gracious leader they had ever had. His oversight and direction in all the planet’s undertakings have led Chrachonia to the height of her cultural development. Kianna, Haman’s daughter, is very beautiful. She is the very definition of beauty. Dark hair, caring blue eyes, and soft, lightly tanned skin. All Chrachonians had lightly tanned skin, for the star that provided light to Chrachonia was able to penetrate through all substances with ease. Being of an entirely different construct than our own sun, it did not bear harmful rays, it only provided light, and kept everyone nicely tan year-round. She was a member of the royal family, therefore, by right and position she could marry any one of age on the planet that she wished. However, although she was of age, and her father needed a successor to nominate, and there were many charming and rugged lieutenants in her father’s military, she was as of yet, unfettered. She knew the man that she wanted to marry. One would assume that he was a well-paid lieutenant in her father’s military. Regardless, that is not the case. The man she intended was not even known by her family. She in fact had only seen him once, and had not even been formally introduced. All Chrachonians, after learning all knowledge and intelligence in the first 100 years of their education, then spend a subsequent 50 years gaining knowledge of Chrachonian life. In the last of high study, on the last day, All students visit the airstrips and learn of the military and the Grokens. It was on this day that Kianna saw the man she wanted to marry. She caught her first glance of him as he climbed aboard his Groken. Yes, he was a Groken pilot. He was handsome with a caring face and a winning smile. His hair was a dark, near-black color. And his eyes; Ah! Those eyes! She loved his deep set, sensitive brown eyes. He was not a quiet man, but he wasn’t rash in his words either. She stared at him for what seems like an eternity, before realizing that he was staring back at her. Slowly, regretfully, she pulled her gaze back to the master. She has never seen him since, and, although it has been nigh ten years, she still loves him.
Now that a thorough background has been given on Chrachonian life and culture, I shall spend the next paragraphs detailing the present situation. At present, the Chrachonians are at a standstill so to speak. They are still developing, still learning, making love and making war, but the majority of society are transients, that have next to nothing to do. They have their daily duties, but their time is squandered in unmentionable evils. They have reached the meridian of their society and have developed virtually everything there is to develop. They waste away as a result of reaching the top. Apparently, once one has reached the top, there is nowhere else to go. Haman has seen this, and has drawn a meeting of High Council to discuss this growing problem. It is feared, at least by Haman, that, as a result of reaching this height, in the next thousand years, they are doomed to, as a result of their wasting away, to return to little or no knowledge and intelligence. Here is where our story begins. High Council has been in session for a week while other business has been discussed. Now, Haman addresses the Council on this dangerous path that Chrachonia is on.

  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Share/Bookmark

I think it’s time I share this with my loyal readers. Perhaps they’ll reel in disgust, or perhaps they’ll think quite highly of it. Some time ago, I had an idea and went about putting it to page. However, after diligently working on it, I lost my sense of direction for the story. I have many ideas of where to take it from here, but I can’t seem to nail down which one to use. I only wrote two full chapters, and the very beginning of chapter 3. I’ll post them over the next couple of days. Feel free to post your comments on the story, I should love to hear them. At the end, I’ll write a conclusionary post to explain some of my ideas for the rest of the story, and give you an opurtunity to voice your opinion on that as well.

  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Share/Bookmark

I want to love.
Deeper, broader, fuller than I’ve ever known.
This love is a full, sweet, satisfying love.
This love is not selfish in any way.
It continually thinks of others, and never itself.
This love is pulchritudinous, long, never-ending.
This love is not bought, neither is it sold.
All who see this love desire it, or at least it’s qualities.
This love, is the love I have yet to have.

  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Share/Bookmark


Powered by Wordpress
Theme © 2005 - 2009 FrederikM.de
BlueMod is a modification of the blueblog_DE Theme by Oliver Wunder